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  • The Abusive Coach

    The Abusive Coach

    When coaches cross the line into physical or verbal abuse, they negatively affect players’ abilities to develop through sports. Parents have a right to know who they are leaving their kid(s) with. They also have a right to step in if they feel their child is not longer in a safe place.

    If your child is in an emotionally unsafe situation because of a coach’s abusive behaviour: The coach is demeaning, humiliating, disrespectful, shaming, uses foul language, continuously puts the player down in front of his/her team mates, and/or does not teach in a positive and constructive way – and basically, he/she badly abuses the power differential in the coach-player relationship, then the job of  a parent is to step in and immediately protect the CHILD.

    Easier said then done, right!

    It takes a lot of courage to speak up when situations like this arise. especially when many organisation have an attitude that parents should just keep quiet and not get involved. Most coaches start out with the right intentions, but unfortunately so many get caught up in winning over development.

    Speaking from experience, there is NEVER any good excuse for this kind of coaching style. a teacher in a classroom would be sacked on the spot if they engaged in some the the abuse we see and hear every-weekend on the sidelines across kids sports.

    Regardless of the coach or his/her past, what they achieved and may have produced, there is no justification for this style of coaching. This style of coaching does not make players tougher, it doesn’t make them better and certainly doesn’t help them perform or focus for competition.

    “When winning is more important to the coach than the experience of his/her players’ participation then EMOTIONAL and sometimes PHYSICAL ABUSE are the end result”. – Dr. Goldberg

    Generally these are the coaches that end up making the child afraid to make mistakes (they generally end up making more) and take risks. They kill the child’s love for the sport and destroy their self-esteem, which generally leads to a player not having reached their true potential and a long life of poor performances in the sport…..a sport they got into because it was FUN.

    I’m a Parent of an abusive coach, what can I do? 

    1. It’s best to make note of any kind of unacceptable behaviour.
    2. Log what was said, maybe even use some audio to record what is being said, so you don’t forget it.
    3. Ask other kids on the team what was said.
    4. You may need to speak to some of the parents to get their backing and feeling on the situation. (Don’t let things get out of hand, address the issue as soon as possible).
    5. Don’t allow it to become a parents v’s coach situation.

    The next thing to do is approach the coach and say you would like to arrange a meeting with them (Before, during or after training and/or a game is never a good time).

    • A phone call should suffice and best to pick a day that won’t interfere with the team’s schedule.
    • Notify the coach why you want to meet them and arrange to meet ASAP.

    THE MEETING

    Make sure you pick a quiet location and one that is not frequented by other club members. You don’t want to be interrupted.

    • You called the meeting so it’s best that you also take control of it;
    • Give the coach an opportunity to speak first and try not to interrupt them;
    • Once they are finished. (make sure they are) you can know have your say;
    • Be calm but be firm if required;
    • The Coach may be upset already and you getting upset at them will only add fuel to the fire. Be calm;
    • Never enter into someone “personal space”. When we do this it activates self-protection instinct and can escalate;
    • Avoid getting into their face. Be scrupulous. Be calm. Seek first to understand then to be understood.

    If you attended a pre-season meeting with the coach and/or the club has guidelines in relation to respecting the players. Make reference to this commitment and how everyone committed to it at the beginning of the season including the coach.

    • Recognise the coaches commitment to the team and show your appreciation for all their efforts;
    • Explain to the coach that he/she needs to be more positive with the kids and being demeaning, humiliating, disrespectful, shaming and continuously putting the player down is not acceptable and you will not allow it to go on;
    • Tell them you understand how hard it can be to coach kids and maybe they could do with getting some guidance from other coaches at the club;
    • Sometimes no matter what you do or how well you handle a situation, nothing helps. Recognise when to step back so that you don’t make matters worse;
    • Call on members of the committee to step in and help resolve the situation if you can’t.

    If the coach becomes angry, defensive and/or blatantly misinterprets your complaints as simply those of a disgruntled parent, unhappy with their child’s playing time, then document your meeting and the coach’s responses, and then approach the organisations coaching committee.

    If they are unconcerned and/or unresponsive to your complaints, then go over their head to the someone higher like the child welfare officer. If this person unwilling to intervene and take action, then go to the organisation board members. If no one associated with the club is willing to do their job, which is to help protect the kids and insure that they are in a safe learning environment, then it might be time to make bigger waves. The sports governing body might be the next step and if this doesn’t work take your story to the local media. Obviously you would never expect or want any situation to get this far without a resolution.

    SUMMARY

    It is a sad statement that many abusive coaches exist because the system that they operate in colludes with their bullying behaviour and why? Because the system is broken, parental complaints are frequently swept under the rug and not taken serious enough! This is why you need to stand up and speak out against these people.

    A coach should be “demanding without being demeaning.”

    It is up to the club administrators, Child Welfare Officer and Director of Coaching to find the right coaches to maintain a positive culture for the players. All Clubs should have their own coaching and child protection philosophy and if they don’t then you are entitled to ask them why?

    The priority of a coach is the welfare of the kids that play the game. You don’t need qualification to know that you’re number one aim is to make training enjoyable and fun. One way for doing this is making training not feel like it’s training.

    Where so many fall down is when they place their needs over those of the children their supposed to be guiding and developing. So many coaches believe that the win-loss outcome of their game at the weekend is far more important than the process of participation, player development, character development and most importantly the safety of the players.

    I’ll finish

    by saying that if you know of an abusive coach then it’s your responsibility to approach that individual and confront them. They may not even know they’re being abusive and in so many cases they don’t know any better. Again I would advice to you use your discretion and find a time and place in private to approach the coach.  Make them aware of the affect it’s having on the kids.

    You could say, ” Are you aware that when you shout at the kids, it makes them scared of you and stops them from playing? I think it would be more beneficial to the kids if you could lower your voice and not shout so much when coaching them. Try be a little more positive, they’re only kids”. 

    Like I mentioned above, the coach may respond with anger, if this is the case, and they become abusive, then it’s your responsibility to take your concerns to the clubs board.

    In Ireland we have tolerated child abuse for many decades and it’s time it stopped! It is our primary responsibility as people working with kids to insure that the KIDS who play sports remain safe at all times. We need a society where Child abusers are never allowed to work with children.

    The vast majority of coaches working with children are top top people but there is always a percentage that still haven’t learnt or developed the new ways of how to deal with children.

    -end

    I always like to hear your opinions. Please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com, if you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend.

    Thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

  • COACH TALK: Christian McAuley

    COACH TALK: Christian McAuley

    This week I spoke with Christian McAuley grassroots coach at Newbridge town.

    TCD: How did you get into coaching?

    CM: Like many coaches I got in to coaching because of my son. I wanted to give him the best football education and set about researching player development. Although I played football for 25+ years I soon found out how little I knew about the game and particularly how to teach it to young kids. I attended a number of workshops\coaching courses. I started out doing KS1 & KS2 and did the Coerver Coaching Diploma and a few weeks ago I passed the FAI Youth Cert. Having said all that most of my coaching development has come from reading about other coaches who I consider to be leaders in player development. People like Mark Senor (@markproskills) Matt Whitehouse (@The_W_Address) Nick Levett (@nlevett) Tim Lees (@timlees10) Jay Cochrane (@JayCochrane1983) Gary Kleiban (@3four3) and more recently John Davis (@renegadestyle) have all shaped the way I think of youth football.

    TCD: What is your coaching philosophy?

    CM: Up to now my philosophy has been a dribble don’t pass attitude for young kids. Use your skills and try to show off when you’re on the ball. I hate to see a kid just kick the ball with no purpose. Don’t be afraid to try new things and never ever give up. I can safety say that I’ve never told a kid to pass the ball just that if you lose it you must try your best to win it back. We do play games where passing is the best option and this helps the kids understand that although we want them to be creative on the ball, passing is a part of the game that must be learnt. The players have had some success with this philosophy when they reached the Final of the U9 DB Sports Summer Tournament in August.

    This year we’ve gently introduced our U9 players to new concepts:

    • Possession and pressure based philosophy. We use the two “P’s” – Possession and Pressure to reaffirm the message to the kids.
    • We teach the 3 rules of possession 1. Spacing 2. Awareness 3. Communication;
    • We work a lot with Rondos and teach individual techniques on how to receive the ball in different scenarios, losing your man and coordinated pressure;
    • We ask questions constantly to reiterate the messages to both the team and to individuals;
    • Core Stability and Movement program;
    • Carol Dweck Growth Mindset theory;

    TCD: What is your current role at the club?

    CM: Currently I am a coach to the U9 age group in our Academy. We have 50+ kids registered and have an average attendance every Sunday morning of ~45. I am also part of a team of people within the club who are focusing on our Academy helping to put in best practices and educate other coaches within the Academy, most of whom are parents with kids playing in the Academy. Every year the Academy is growing and building a great reputation in the local area. We are attracting more and more experienced coaches also which can only benefit the children. I genuinely believe that if the club continues on this path you will hear great things from this club in the future.

    TCD: How many teams do you have at the club?

    We have 21 Schoolboy teams and 3 senior teams starting from U10. We also have 200 children from 4 years of age to 8 years of age registered in our Academy.

    TCD: You have been using Funino at the club, what is funino?

    CM: The Academy is currently using FUNINO – a small sided games programme developed by Horst Wein a University Lecture and former German and Spanish Olympic Hockey Teams Coach. His methods have been used for many years by a number of Football Federations including the Spanish Football Federation. FUNINO uses smaller pitch sizes and player numbers to encourage greater participation and more touches of the ball for all involved. The use of 4 goals out wide (without goal keepers) helps to alleviate the normal crowding or swarming traditionally experienced within these age groups and the scoring zone helps to assist with spatial awareness.

    “At U8, our kids in the Academy are playing 3v3 – now what kids are going to benefit more?”

    The club introduced to Funino two years ago and has been a revelation to many coaches. The great thing about Funino is you don’t need to be a football coach to teach it. All you need is to read the manual and put what you read into practice. The Manual explains everything, even gives questions to ask players and the answers. You don’t need to know anything about guided discovery… Just follow the manual. I learned so much about football by reading this manual.

    TCD: Silly question but how have the kids enjoyed and adapted to this game?

    CM: The kids really love playing Funino. With no goalkeepers and four goals there are lots of opportunities for them to score goals. All through our coaching we encourage the kids to dribble, use your tricks to beat the defender. The scoring zone makes dribbling and 1v1 skills a must in this game. A lot of the kids have become really competent 1v1 players. There is variety of different games that can be played on the Funnio pitch. All our 1v1’s and 2v2 training games are played on the Funino Pitch.

    Last Easter we organised a 5v5 tournament based on Funnio rules. The tournament was attended by a number of Kildare and Dublin Clubs and the feedback on the game was excellent. In my opinion every kid should grow up playing Funino.

    TCD: More and more clubs are not entering their young teams into organised fixtures and instead keep them at the academies to further implement the clubs’s philosophy. How has this worked for your club?

    CM: Newbridge Town have invested heavily in coaching material mainly focusing on the Academy age groups. 3 years ago they invested in a Skills program, two years ago invested in Funnio and this year they signed a long term partnership with the Ajax Online Academy. Every year new equipment is bought; this year saw the purchase of 3 sets of high quality 5 aside goals and almost 100 more footballs.

    Keeping teams out of organised fixtures has allowed more kids play football. Like I said previously we have 50+ kids at U9 in our Academy. We have at least 15 new kids join this year that never played before. If we had entered teams in organised fixtures at U8 when “leagues” start in the KDUL at least half of those kids would be lost because there would be no places on teams for them.

    NTFC_Academy 2By keeping the kids away from organised fixtures, more kids benefit from playing and the club also benefits financially not having to pay league fees, Referees etc. It’s a win-win situation for the players and the Club. Every Sunday coaches get to teach kids skills and tricks at training and not have to worry who they are playing on Saturday.

    Only last week a coach told me that his team conceded 2 goals from corners at the weekend so at his following training session he worked on defending from corners. Our coaches in the academy don’t have to think like that. It’s just skills, skills and more skills.

    Many Clubs now see the idea of 7 olds playing organised football as counterproductive. In the KDUL organised leagues start at U8’s who play 7 aside. At U8, our kids in the Academy are playing 3v3 – now what kids are going to benefit more?

    We also give the kids matches against other clubs. We have organised and played in a number of Tournaments over the course of the Academy and played in Funnio blitzes against other like-minded clubs. We’ve also organise internal leagues where we mix age groups.

    TCD: From what age will teams begin to play in organised fixtures?

    CM: This was a debating point within the club some said U9, U10 others taught U11’s would be best. In the end it was decided to go at U10. Entering at U11’s will not be ruled out for future age groups.
    Next year the first batch of children who have been through the full Skills and Funino program will leave the Academy and it will be very exciting to see how these kids develop.

    TCD: You participated recently in the Silent Sideline Weekend, how did you find it?

    CM: The day went very well and we had great support from all our coaches and parents. It really gave us the chance to try educating our coaches and parents that we need less coaching and directing from the side-line each week. We only want them to encourage the players and keep everything positive regardless of how the game is going. The silent side-line highlighted this and the kids thought it was great.

    TCD: Your club along with some others are using the Ajax online coaching philosophy, how is this implemented and measured?

    CM: Yes this is our first season implementing the Ajax online academy. The first thing we decided to do was bring Ajax Technical Director Patrick Ladru to Newbridge Town to put on a workshop and introduce the system and the Ajax philosophy to all our coaches. So we set about introducing the Ajax training programme into our academy along with our younger teams. So from a very early age our coaches can start introducing the Ajax training sessions to our players. The program caters for all age groups from basic to difficult. This makes transition from academy to teams an easier one, with very little difference in the style training.

    It was clear to us at the club that we should help our players by helping our coaches. By offering them structure, especially within their training sessions we could drastically improve the quality of coaching each player receives. The Ajax system is our way of ensuring that all kids at the club received similar, high-quality training. It also opened up the opportunity to send our teams to Ajax and play against local teams and receive coaching sessions with Ajax coaches. Our U13s are the first team to make the trip this March.

    TCD: The Kildare league is taking big strides in the area of player and coach development. Are local teams buying into playing in the K-league or do they see the Dublin leagues as the stepping stone to success?

    CM: The Kildare league is having problem with many one-sided fixtures and is seeking to address this issue by educating coaches and recently set up the “Koaches Association” lead by the KDUL’s Football director, Mike Geoghegan. They had their first workshop in October with another one planned in December. This is a great initiative and hopefully will see the standard of play improve across the league.

    Without doubt the Dublin leagues are the strongest in the country and lure of a big Dublin club can be too hard to resist for some. There are many players travelling from Kildare to play in the DDSL every week – I know of two U9 players travelling from Newbridge, so I don’t see that changing anytime soon unless the Kildare Clubs can really improve their coaching standards.

    Here at Newbridge there has been big drive over the last few years to improve the standard of coaching with a particular focus on the younger age groups. Our aim to give our kids the best football education in Kildare so they will not need to travel to a Dublin Club but Kildare Clubs need to be competing in the last rounds of the SFAI Cups on regular basis if they want to stop all our young talent travelling to Dublin.

    TCD: What changes would you make to the kids game?

    CM: Firstly, I would abolish the all organised fixtures up to U10. Looking at the KDUL I would abolish the 7 aside game for U8’s and U9’s.

    If leagues want to keep control of these age groups, then I would suggest that when a Team registers with the league they are given a Funinio Manual and a Skills program where the emphasis is on 1v1’s and 2v2’s. Every 8 weeks a club or the league would host a 3v3 or 5v5 Blitz day or Invite a number of Clubs to a Tournament type event. Have the players’ ref their own games. Refereeing their own games should be practiced at training with kids encouraged to be honest. The Academy director of the league would get see all young talent playing in one day. Playing every 8 weeks leaves more time for coaches to teach ball mastery, 1v1 skills and not have to worry about training session based on defending corners.

    Benefits

    • Training to games time ratio increases. Coaches get 8 weeks to work with team before they play a game;
    • Clubs only travel once every 8 weeks;
    • KDUL Academy coaches get to see and help the best young players in Kildare in 1 day;
    • Reduced costs for teams, less travel expenses, no need to pay refs;
    • Playing 5 aside tournament type football far more enjoyable for children.

    TCD would like to thank Christian for contributing to the blog.

    @NewbridgeFC

    @christianire

    -end

    I always like to hear your opinions. Please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com, if you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend.

    Thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

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  • What is PLAY?

    What is PLAY?

    One thing I’ve learnt over the last number of years is that all children learn at different stages. Some children are ready for school and other are not. Some are ready to play in an organised coaching structure and others are not. One thing will never change, – all children develop at different stages and we must not force that process.

    What does Play mean to children? 

    Ideally kids should play every day, often without supervision. Just like in times gone by, street football, or games that happen naturally are a great environment for kids to develop on their own without being over-coached by adults.

    Play is recognised as a basic human right for all children. The importance of play has been reaffirmed by the UN’s convention on the Rights of the child, which Ireland ratified in 1992. Article 31, set out the child’s right to play:

    “Parties recognise the rights of the child to rest and leisure, to engage in play and recreational activities appropriate to the age of the child and participate freely in cultural life and the arts: parties shall respect and promote the rights of the child to participate fully in cultural and artistic life and shall encourage the provision of appropriate and equal opportunities for cultural, artistic, recreational and leisure activity”

    Article 7 of the same convention states,

    “The child shall have full opportunity to play and recreation, which should be directed to the same purpose os education; society and public authorities shall endeavour to promote the enjoyment of this right.”

    What is Play? 

    Play is an essential part of a child’s life and vital to their development. It is central to all aspects of young children’s development and learning. It is the way children explore the world around them and develop and practice skills. Play is essential for physical, emotional, and spiritual growth, for intellectual and educational development, and for acquiring social and behavioural skills.

    Play does not always involve equipment or have an end product. Kids can play on their own and with others. Play can also be boisterous and energetic or quiet and contemplative, light-hearted or very serious.

    When kids play they learn about themselves, others, their environment and the whats around them. Play enables them to explore and practice the roles and experiences that they will meet and fulfil in later life.

    “It is through play that children develop their imagination and creativity”.

    Types of Play: 

    • Structured play is play that has been pre-arranged.
    • Free play is play that is spontaneous, this happens when children choose and use materials and resources in their own way.

    Given today’s changing lifestyles, children have fewer opportunities to play freely with other children in their locality and on the streets than did children in the past. Parked cars has been a major factor for children not playing on the streets. This in no way takes from the range of opportunities which still present themselves for children in the 21st century and a well planned active school & after school curriculum will ensure that these opportunities for play can still happen.

    Many studies have looked at the importance and role of play, the following are a few of the common themes.

    The Role of Play: 

    • Play promotes children’s development, learning, creativity, independence, confidence and well being.
    • Play keeps them active and healthy and this carries into adulthood;
    • Play develops social inclusion. Helps them understand people and places in their lives, learn about their environment and develop their sense of community;
    • Play helps them learn about themselves, their abilities and interests;
    • Play is good for the mind It helps children deal with difficult or painful circumstances, such as emotional stress or medical treatment;
    • Play allows children to let off steam, de-stress and have fun.
    • Play and Fun are the same to children.

    In any organisation working with children there should always be an element of spontaneous play. This opportunity provide for exploration, experimentation and manipulation, all of which are essential for the construction of knowledge.During play a child learns to deal with feelings, to interact with others, to resolve conflicts and gain a sense of competence. It is through play that children develop their imagination and creativity.

    “Physical exercise turns our brain on, so get out and get moving or you will turn your brain off” tcd

    The role of Risk in Play: 

    Children by their nature will always seek out opportunities for risk taking while at play. Therefore it is seen as an essential method of teaching a child how to assess and take calculated risks. Risk taking can be essential to the development of a child’s confidence and abilities both in childhood and later in life.

    The quality of any programme should therefore respond by creating an exciting and stimulating environment that balances risks in an appropriate manner. However of course we must understand the distinction between acceptable and unacceptable risks and must ensure that the children are not exposed to unacceptable risk. Learning new skills involves an element of risk and  coaches must be capable of exercising their judgement about the level of risk that is acceptable and appropriate and also to exercise their judgement as to when it is necessary to intervene to prevent potentially harmful situations happening.

    Risk helps them to understand that things don’t always work our right –  sometimes things can go wrong but the right coaching, they can put it right again or at least learn to live with mistakes.

    In a recent study, Children were asked ‘How does playing make you feel?” – 8 out of 10 children said, it makes them ‘Happy’.

    All of the above underlines the importance of play, and its influence on the well being and development of children today, and for the future of its communities.

    Research: National Children’s Office Strategy, Playwork Scrutiny Group, Cardiff 2005.

    Worth a read: Wise Words with Dr. R Bailey

    -End

    I always like to hear your opinions. Please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com, if you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend.

    Thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

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  • Mistakes are how they learn….

    Mistakes are how they learn….

    Probably the most difficult part of coaching or parenting is knowing when to step in after a mistake or step away and say nothing.

    The other day I let my daughter cut some cheese with a very sharp knife……Well, she had already started before I noticed, so I let her finish and then I stepped in to show her were she should place her fingers…… Last year I may have stepped in a lot sooner to prevent her from cutting herself…….. On this occasion I felt she wasn’t in any danger and looked in control of what she was doing. However, a yell to protect her, may have changed all that….

    The fact of the matter is  young children aren’t afraid of messing up.

    Below is a great article from Psychologies UK >

    As we grow older and become more conscious that we see mistakes as failure. ‘Children only dread making mistakes as a result of their parents’ responses,’ says family psychologist Dr Randy Cale…

    ‘For example, if we show anger or disappointment.’ Most of us can recall a childhood telling-off where we felt desperately humiliated, and these are the times that led us to link failure with fear’

    According to Cale, many parents jump in to correct their child’s mistakes, not realising that natural consequences do 90 per cent of the teaching for them. ‘There’s a strong tendency to feel shame present in children that you don’t need to accentuate,’ he says. ‘If you allow a child to process the emotions, you may not need to do or say anything else.’

    Leaping in to correct mistakes can also be counter-productive. ‘Imagine a giant looking down at you with anger or upset in their eyes,’ says Cale. ‘If your child is wired in an oppositional way, you’ve just fired up their fight mechanism. They’re ready to dig their heels in.’

    Further to this, research shows that negative feedback is mostly futile for children under 12. A study of eight- and nine-year-olds by psychologist Dr Eveline Crone revealed that the area of their brain responsible for cognitive control reacted strongly to positive feedback, but hardly at all to negative feedback. However, this changes at 12 years of age, when children start to pay attention to negative feedback as well.

    In fact, there are only two mistakes that call for your input. First, if your child’s physical safety is under threat, and second, when the consequences of bad behaviour won’t be apparent for some time, for example if you hear your daughter lying to another child, but the effect of the lie won’t come out until next week. ‘If you spot your child doing something worrying but can’t see an instant repercussion, create one,’ says Cale. You could expose the fib with an apparently innocent question, to show your child you have noticed without shaming her.

    How do you see the world?

    What’s your job as a parent?

    If you answered ‘To protect my child’ then your parenting style is likely to be fear-based. ‘ 

    Whenever a parent makes decisions based on trying to avoid something, they create anxiety for the child,’ says Cale. It can also lead to hyper-vigilance, with parents constantly reminding their child what to do. ‘Brush your teeth. Get out of the car. Pack your bag.’ This kind of prompting can unknowingly teach a competent, capable child to believe they can’t do anything unless told to.

    If, on the other hand, you answered ‘To raise a child who’ll thrive in any situation’ then you believe he/she can learn from their mistakes. Children are more resilient than we think and are rarely scarred by early experiences. ‘They can’t grasp the gravity of situations like adults can and don’t dwell on things to the same extent,’ says paediatrician Dr Jennifer Cunningham.

    Do you see your child as a miniature version of you, or as a one-of-a-kind individual?

    No matter how many of your qualities they’ve inherited, they are not destined to repeat your mistakes. One of the best gifts you can give your child is the independence to make their own decisions. ‘Many of us were managers before we were parents, so it can help to think of it as delegation,’ says Gardner. ‘ When you delegate something, you don’t expect the other person to do it precisely as you would. So when you hand over decisions to your children, don’t expect them to make the choices you want them to.’

    Ask, too, is it really a mistake? A child’s picture of success is different from yours, so be careful not to impose your values on them. ‘If they make an Airfix model and all the parts are attached in the wrong order, you may see mistakes but they see something they’re proud of,’ says Gardner. ‘Do these mistakes really need correcting?’

    Letting your child make mistakes doesn’t just strengthen their resolve. It also builds your confidence. Through reassuring them that they can handle life, you begin to see it’s true – they can. ‘You want to instil in a child the sense that whatever life throws at them, they can handle it,’ says Cale. ‘The core of what we want to communicate to our kids is that they’re equipped and competent.’

    -End

    WHAT TO DO WITH MISTAKES: 

    Recognise it, admit it, learn from it and then forget it!
    Mistake are the stepping stones to achievements.
    You should always give encouragement after mistakes are made.
    Never highlight mistakes with anger. (They know they did it)
    If the players know how to correct a mistake, than encouragement alone is suffice.
    Mistakes are what kids worry about the most.
    If we can create an environment where mistakes are ok and part of the learning process, it will help to develop mental toughness.
    Reducing fear of mistakes allows the player to focus more of his/her energy in the game.
    A great mistakes ritual is the Superman Power Pose see Amy Cuddy TEDTalk

    -end

    I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com and if you don’t have anything to add, please pass this on to a friend.

    As always, thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

     

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  • 3 amazing facts on player development in Icelandic football

    3 amazing facts on player development in Icelandic football

    Siggi Eyjolfsson is the Ex technical director/coach education director, F.A. of Iceland from 2002-2014. He was also Iceland’s Womens national team head coach 2007-2013 and head coach at IBV in the men´s Icelandic top league in 2014. He holds a UEFA Pro licence coach from the English F.A.

    He writes great article of how Iceland is developing both male and female players for the future. A very small footballing nation with a big plan.

    Article starts here >

    As I wrote in my last post “Iceland best in the world in developing football players?”

    Iceland has only 325.000 people, only 20.000 football players and yet manage to outperform more than 150 bigger countries on the FIFA ranking list!

    If Iceland was a US city it would rank 58th in population among US cities with considerably fewer inhabitants than Honolulu, Hawai! Yet Iceland ranks 28th on the FIFA ranking list after their last match in which they beat the bronze medalists from the FIFA World Cup 2014 –Netherlands 2-0.

    How are Iceland developing so many players?

    Iceland is sitting top of their group for EURO qualifications with 3 wins in 3 matches and an 8-0 goal difference.

    Many of you contacted me and wanted to learn more about what we are doing in Iceland in developing our players so here are the first 3 amazing facts that should get you thinking about learning more from Icelandic player development.

    1. Icelandic clubs regularly give young players a chance to play 1st team football.

    Eidur Gudjohnsen is an Icelander won the English Premier League with Chelsea and won the Champions League with Barcelona and the list goes on. Eidur started playing in the Icelandic top league at age 15 and scored 7 goals in 17 matches that year. Eidur was exceptionally young but in general Icelandic players are regularly given a chance to play 1st team football, even in the top league. This aids the development of our young players.

    Sometimes Icelandic clubs do not even get the chance to play their young players because they are scouted when they play for the youth national teams and are then signed by bigger clubs abroad before they reach enough maturity to play 1st team football in Iceland.

    However around half the national team that started in the match against Netherlands have played less than a season in the top league in Iceland. They received their foundation in Iceland but when they became really promising as players they were bought by foreign clubs where they continued their development and kept improving as players. Iceland has around 90 professional players playing abroad, they have moved abroad at different ages and it is tough to say at which age players should make that transition, I think you need to look at each individual case, the same rule does not apply to all.

    To create good players you need good coaches. To create good coaches you need good coach education.

    2. Coach education for all coaches!

    If you want to be a football coach in Iceland, you have to have coach education, even if you want to coach beginners at the grassroots level.

    • Around 70% of all coaches have completed the UEFA B licence (124 hours) and around 30% have completed the UEFA A licence (120 hours).
    • This is counting all coaches, even at the grassroots level. On top of that many of the coaches are educated physical education teachers or have completed a Bachelors degree in Exercise and sport science.
    • All the clubs in the top 2 leagues undergo a club licensing system where coach education for all their coaches is mandatory and the clubs get fined by the Icelandic Football Association if they do not fulfill the coach education requirements. This has created a whole country of educated coaches who receive the basic tools they need to coach straight from the FA of Iceland.

    3. Producing outstanding international players by working with what you have got!

    In 1984, Icelandic player Asgeir Sigurvinsson was voted best player in the German Bundesliga after captaining his side VFB Stuttgart to winning the Bundesliga. Sigurvinsson developed in Westman islands on a small isolated island south of Iceland playing for IBV until he became 17 years old. The town of Westman islands only has around 4.200 inhabitants and is too remote to recruit youth players from elsewhere.

    Hermann Hreidarsson developed at the same club, Hreidarsson played 15 seasons in English football and in 2011 he became the Scandinavian player who has played most matches in the history of the English Premier League.

    On the female side, Margret Lara Vidarsdottir also grew up in the town, she is Iceland´s best goalscorer ever and has scored 71 goals in 94 matches for the Icelandic women´s national team. Not many players in the world can say they have a goalscoring record like that!

    Think about how crazy this is… 4.200 inhabitants means that the whole town only has around 35-50 people born in a certain year, and only a part of them become football players and since the club is based on a small island they are stuck with that extremely small player pool to select from. They have to develop what they have got, they cannot recruit from elsewhere, they don´t recruit for talent. The lesson to learn here for player development is that you can develop good young promising players anywhere. I can name you at least 10 more players who have become professional players abroad coming from this small club.

    Many of Iceland´s best players have developed in small clubs from the countryside. Have a look at another small club in Iceland IA Akranes who are a town of 6.000 people who have sold 30 homegrown players to bigger professional clubs abroad in 30 years. They do not recruit talented young players from elsewhere, they work with what they have got.

    VIDEO: Here is a video where they are featured on UEFA Training Ground.

    I will leave you with this cool video on player development in Iceland which I made for my presentation at the NSCAA convention in Philadelphia, USA this year.

    And when you go to your next coaching session tomorrow think about this quote from Joachim Löw the national team head coach of World Champions 2014 Germany, this is what he said after winning the World Cup in Brazil:

    “Youth coaches create World Champions”

    If you are a technical director, in charge of a club, a CEO or a head youth coach think about how good your youth coaches are and if they have the right tools to teach the players the skills they need to become successful players.

    If you want to know more about Icelandic player development or buy a presentation on it for your coaches, your club, your state, your national association etc. Let me know.

    More amazing facts on the Icelandic football to follow, that is if you want to know more? It would be nice to hear what you think.

    Siggi is currently looking for his next challenge in football, if you would like to find out more about his methods or interested in talking to him you can email him siggiraggi73@gmail.com 

    Siigi has more great articles on his website> Siggi blog  

    Here is Siggi presentation on Iceland: How_can_Iceland_produce_so_many_professional_football_players

    -End

    I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com and if you don’t have anything to add, please pass this on to a friend.

    As always, thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

    See also Icelandic Football

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  • 20 ways parents can help their children have a better sports experience

    20 ways parents can help their children have a better sports experience

    As the seasons go by more and more parents are attending their child sports. Whether it be organised football or sports day in school, you can be sure parents will be there. Parents have a right to watch their children but they should also respect the fact that many people give up their spare time to help children succeed and stay in sport.

    In the past, a lot of coaches were teachers so they had a degree and a background in childhood development. Now, coaches are mostly parents and/or committed adults and they may know a lot about the game but in many situations very little about how children learn. Kids sports has changed drastically since we were kids and learning the game is one of the biggest changes of all.

    Sport itself requires teamwork, fair play, respect and problem-solving skills that transfer into life skills. In some cases, therefore, sport is a preparation for life.

    Here are 20 things that will help you and your child have a great sports experience:

    1. Don’t push them into anything, ask them and if they say ‘yes’, go for it.
    2. Do not focus on winning. Teach your child the emphasis of participating is giving their best effort, having fun & learning. If we focus on those areas we will not strain our relationship with our children.
    3. Support them irrespective of their success and failure.
    4. Don’t pressure your child with adult values and ideas. Children play sport for different reasons.
    5. Let the game belong to them, because it doesn’t belong to you.
    6. By allowing them to take control of their game will keep them committed for longer.
    7. Never show your disgust for their performance by criticising them and don’t go through the game on the way home in the car. Win or lose the game is over to them and they aren’t thinking about it anymore. “There could not be a less teachable moment in your child’s sporting life then the ride home, yet it is often the moment that well intentioned parents decide to do all of their teaching” – John O’Sullivan See ‘The Ride Home’
    8. If they enjoy the game. Try and get them to develop an interest outside of organised training. This way they will take it upon themselves to work hard and get better (More success) and value the game more.
    9. If you control everything your child does they will never take responsibility.
    10. Model good behaviour on the sideline, be a good role model for your child.
    11. Don’t distract your child by continually shouting their name. Be enthusiastic, but don’t yell instruction and don’t get emotionally involved with the game. Sometimes silence is the best praise of all.
    12. What children see on a sports pitch and what adults see, is a completely different picture.
    13. Help children understand the importance and benefits of a good education in addition to developing their sporting interests. Coach Wooden said, Education comes ahead of sport and sport comes ahead of your social life. In any other order you won’t have very much.
    14. Provide them proper equipment and clothing to play.
    15. Stay interested in what they are doing.
    16. Allow them to set their own goals.
    17. Respect the coach. He or she might not always get it right but every decision is another opportunity for you child to learn something.
    18. If your child makes a mistake in the game, the first thing they will do is look to the line for your support. Don’t show your disgust, always be supportive. Develop a mistake ritual with your child so that they can move away from the mistake and focus on the next play.
    19. Children play sport because it’s fun. Play and fun mean the same thing to children.
    20. Sometimes “I love watching you play”, is all you need to say.

    Coaching and instructing from the sidelines will distract your child from the flow of the game, make him/her more nervous, kill his/her enjoyment and, as a consequence, insure that he will consistently play badly. Eventually they will leave the game and not return until adult hood.

    “Children make two conscious decisions per second. Sideline information prevents children from making a quick decision or deciding on one”.

    According to Dan Gould at the Michigan State University Institute for the Study of Youth Sports, kids want to have fun, to get better, and to be with their friends. They want parental support and encouragement.  They want you to watch them play and praise them for their effort.  They want you to be realistic about their ability and they want you to be present, and interested in what they are doing.  They do not want you to shout at them the coach and the officials.  They don’t want you to put too much pressure on them, or be overly critical.  They want the game to be theirs!

    John  O’Sullivan from Changing The Game Project said recently at a workshop in Dublin,

    “Parents need to look at what these coaches do, how much effort they put into helping other peoples children. Without them we would not have a game, so don’t be quick to judge them. As a parent, once you are confident that your child is in a safe learning environment, one of the most important things you can do as a parent of a young player is to let them go and let their sports experience belong to them”.

    Finally, how a parent behaves before, during and after a game can cause great anxiety on the child and consequently affect performance, development and enjoyment. Many parents will need educating in modern approaches to coaching, and how children learn, which is essential if they are to constructively support their child’s development through sport.

    As parents, be patient.

    Not all kids progress at the same rate and learning any game takes more time than most people realise. Allow them to be children, enjoying all the FUN elements of the sport, so that they can mature into the adult game naturally, learning each step along the way. Sports benefits not only builds kids physically and mentally it also builds and bonds relationships.

    Reference: Coach John Wooden, Changing the Game Project, Timson-Katchis 2007, Woodward 2012, Horst Wein.

    -End

    I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com and if you don’t have anything to add, please pass this on to a friend.

    As always, thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

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  • 20 things I’ve learnt about working with children…

    20 things I’ve learnt about working with children…

    Below is a list of 20 things I’ve learnt from coaching kids and how they learn. I could probably put down 100 more things but I feel these 20 are some of the most important things to remember when working with children.

    “Children need the freedom to play and learn on their own. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.” – TCD

    Working with children in sport and how they learn:

    1. Children are not mini adults.
    2. Children play sport because its fun. Social interaction and being with friends is an important reason why children take part.
    3. Play and Fun is the same thing to young children.
    4. Children don’t value winning as much as they value playing.
    5. Children can learn MORE through play that is unsupervised and where they have created the rules.
    6. Mistakes are how they learn.
    7. Children develop at different stages.
    8. Children brains loves to bookmark failure, therefore they don’t need us to remind them of failure.
    9. No child goes out to intentionally make mistakes.
    10. Constant instruction actually thwarts player’s decision-making.
    11. You don’t need knowledge of the game to be a great coach.
    12. Coaches should try to understand more about how children learn and how they should coach.
    13. Up to age 7 we should be more concerned with the FUNdamental movement skills as they set the pattern for future development.
    14. Some research suggests from ages 7 to puberty, children should be able to acquire more specialised skill, in more structured activities.
    15. Children don’t learn from people they don’t like.
    16. Children should be encouraged to play and practice on their own or with friends to help them to improve through repetition.
    17. Observational learning is very powerful so structuring a session so that children can see others and compare themselves in an informal way can be very useful.
    18. Having a ‘go’ without others watching is equally important.
    19. A child that enjoys a sport is more likely to continue in that sport.
    20. Children may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

    The most important thing to remember is that children develop at different stages and we can’t force the process.

    What would you add to the list?

    -end

    Next up is 20 ways parents can help their children have a better sports experience.

    I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com and if you don’t have anything to add, please pass this on to a friend.

    As always, thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

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