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  • Dropping Players From The Squad

    Dropping Players From The Squad

    I regularly get emails from parents looking for advice on their kids football. This time of year kids are either settling into their new team or still waiting to find out if they are going to make the squad. For many parents and their children it can be a very anxious time and a coach holding off on communicating his intentions, can make it even more worrying for the child.

    In an ideal world, we would never drop anyone but then that wouldn’t be realistic – to how teams are organised for various reasons. Also if we had the option to move players up and down during the season this would also help with player development, however kids football/sport is not is mostly run by people who don’t understand how children develop so therefore they aren’t thinking of development when they set out the rules. If children could play mixed age groups this would also help with making sure everyone is playing at the level to best suit them. Not all kids of the same age are the same size or have the same ability. Allowing for mixed age group would help the smaller and weaker late developers.

    There is nothing worse than having to shatter a kids dreams and dent their self-esteem. After all sports should be about having FUN and everyone should be able to play with their friends but unfortunately competitive (organised) youth sports does not work that way and for many kids this is a lesson they learn very early in life and it certainly won’t be the last time they experience the disappointment of being dropped from the team.

    Many clubs have an ethos that sport should be fun, that learning the game and developing skills takes precedent over everything else and that all kids will be given a fair opportunity to play. However, in reality and with the best intentions it’s doesn’t always workout that way. Many coaches are about getting the best kids in, so as to boost the chances of winning the game (league), so too feel a sense of achievement, it’s good for their egos and makes them look good.

    The Process

    Those who are deemed “good enough” by the coach’s judgment make the team and get their name on the panel.

    Every child wants to start back in school bragging to his mates about his new team but as we know, so many are still left wondering who they are going to be togging our for the season ahead. Those unfortunate individuals who didn’t or haven’t lived up to the coach’s expectations; who weren’t considered talented enough, quick enough, hard enough, technical enough, big enough or in any other way worthy of a spot on the team don’t have their names on the final squad! Unless your child as all or some of the things mentioned or unless he’s the managers son or daughter then he/she could be in for a disappointing year. Cutting squads down is a necessary evil and it’s the hardest part of the job, I’m yet to meet a coach who likes to cut players. The biggest issue I find it many don’t have the decency to do it correctly, taking the child feelings into consideration.

    Personally I feel the July 1st transfer (football open season in Ireland) date does not give coaches enough time to look at players. If teams could try-out new players once their season was completed it may prevent so many holding onto 20+ players a week before or after the season has started. Coaches already volunteer a huge amount of time and coming back into training a two weeks after they have just finished doesn’t give the coaches and players enough time to re-charge. That’s my own feelings on this.

    “Getting cut is one of those major emotional setbacks for most serious athletes. It’s frustrating, depressing and a tremendous blow to your ego. In a sense, what the coach is saying to you when he/she cuts you is that, in his opinion “you’re simply not good enough to be on the team” and that he believes “all those others chosen are better than you.” (Keep in mind this is NOT fact. It’s merely this coach’s opinion!) – Dr.Goldberg

    When taking on new players, try not to be so quick to make a decision, the best way to evaluate kids is to see them play in competitive games. One thing is for sure, a single game or just training won’t tell you very much about a player. This pre-season it has taken as us many as 8 games to tell if a player can add something to the squad, philosophy or not and even then most players are likely to go through a purple patch for a period of time, that’s were the real coaching comes in, trying to get him back to his best again.

    I always want to be fair to the kids that were showing up and also to the ones who weren’t quite there yet.

    The most important issue here is how a Coach drops the players:

    • Does he text the players?
    • Does he hold final training session and tell the players after in a group?
    • Does he hold a team meeting and call the players out one by one?
    • Does he tell the player or tell the parent first?

    We all know whatever the coach decides to do, most coaches do it very badly. The reason being that it’s not something everyone likes doing and process of being dropped can be devastating for the child to the extent where they carry emotional scars that can last a lifetime and you will be remembered more for this than the few years you spent helping the child to where he or she is now. Still to this day I remember calling players in to a meeting with parents and after all the success we’ve had this moments are the ones that stick in my mind to this day.

    Dr.Goldberg talks about the process,

    he says, “Adolescents as a rule are uncertain of themselves. They typically have very low or shaky self-esteem. They are looking for mentors to connect with or other adults that they can begin to model themselves after. They are looking to fit in with their peer group and the fear of not being accepted is frequently intense and foremost in their mind. While an adolescent may come to your tryouts with an outer sense of bravado and cockiness, not too deep inside of them they are fairly insecure and burdened by feelings of inadequacy.”

    “The process of tryouts with the prospective of getting cut puts most kids this age under a significant amount of stress and further feeds their sense of insecurity and aloneness. This is even truer for those athletes who do not have the caliber of athletic skills that their older, more experienced teammates may possess.”

    He goes on to say,

    “Most kids who get cut do not know how to handle this potentially significant failure. They do not know how to put this kind of experience into a healthy perspective. They do not know how to separate their sense of self worth as an individual from this massive blow to their ego. As the designated adult and educator in this situation they need your help. You may not have to deal with them until the next year, but because they showed up for this season’s tryouts you have a responsibility to them. To put it bluntly, you owe them!”

    The rest of what he says is so good not to post, as coaches we owe it to the kids that show up. We owe to the ones that have just spent a season or two with the team. They have contributed to the success, the journey, the high and the low’s. No matter how you feel about that kid, the coach owe’s him that respect.

    Dr. Goldberg says,

    ” You owe them courtesy, respect and, most of all, sensitivity. You owe them a minimal amount of help in handling their failure of not making your team. You owe them honest feedback about what they need to do to increase their chances of having a more successful tryout the next year. In other words, you owe them more courage, directness and decency than is usually provided by impersonally posting a list of names with theirs omitted. When I say that you owe them I am making some critical assumptions about you. I am assuming that you are committed to the coaching profession, that you truly have your athletes’ best interests in mind and far in front of your own, that you sincerely care about these kids that you’re working with as individuals well beyond their athletic skills and performances and that you are interested in and committed to encouraging personal potential in the youngster s that you come in contact with.”

    Dr. Goldberg he’s a “terminal optimist” but not stupid and he’s well aware there are coaches out there who truly don’t give a rat’s ass about these personal qualities and commitments that he has addressed above. Either the lack sensitivity or they lack the experience and knowledge in dealing with letting players go.

    Goldbery say, “These individuals are not in the business of shaping today’s youth in healthy and positive ways. They are, instead in the sport for themselves. They are too selfish and immature to really care about the kids that they come in contact with. As a consequence they are totally insensitive to the impact that they may have on their young athletes. These are the kinds of coaches who are destructive, end up traumatising many of the kids they work with and who give the coaching profession a bad name.”

    Remember, if you have to cut, do it with courage and class. Your kindness, sensitivity and the minimal amount of extra effort and time that you take with the young athletes that you drop today can make all the difference in their athletic career tomorrow. As I right this I know I have got it wrong in the past but I will do my best never to get it wrong again. My apology now won’t change how I made that kid feel. That feeling will stick with him forever.

    Below are some questions I ask myself when evaluating a player, I know that attitude can be as much as 70% of what makes a an excellent player. Respect, hard work, commitment to the team are very important to me as a coach. Having a set of core values which define you, is one way of getting the right players for your team. You won’t alway get it right but having some sort of process will certainly help.

    Evaluating a Player (in this case a 13/14 year old) you’re keen to take on:

    • Is the player as technically proficient as current one on the team?
    • Can he use both feet?
    • Has he got the right attitude?
    • Is he respectful?
    • Is he willing to learn?
    • Does he listen to you?
    • Can he play in different positions and is he willing to do so?
    • Has he been measured against players of similar ability (Test him in games)?
    • He is going to add to what you already have?
    • Can he take direction and constructive feedback?
    • Is he committed and are his parents committed?
    • Does he work hard to help out?

    It’s best not to judge after just one game and a few training sessions. Unless you can clearly see he or she is not at the same level for now, otherwise give them some time.

    Also ask the old guard about new players, get their opinions. Kids are very honest. Sometimes things have been said that you may not have heard. You’d be amazed to hear what some of the current players think.

    Releasing A Player: 

    • I will give my honest opinion based on what I have seen.
    • I will make reference to areas a player can work on, if I’m asked.
    • If the player has potential but may not be ready for a certain level, I would suggest he drop down for a year and play under less pressure.
    • Come back next year and try again.
    • Each year is a clean slate.
    • Every month is another month to improve.

    “A child failures hold very valuable life lessons, lessons that contain the keys to future success. Failures provide players valuable information about certain weaknesses, about what you did wrong, about what you need to work on. Valuable information to getting better and reaching a higher level in the game”

    If you have doubts about player don’t be rash with your decision. Try and organise more games to see the player in action. Even if it means playing other teams within the club or older teams. The more games, the more you see. At least you have given him the best possibility to shine over a series of games and even then you may not make the correct call.

    Dealing with the disappointment

    The one thing Parents don’t want to hear, is negative information about their child’s ability; so be very cautions how you address the situation and certainly don’t leave the player or parent angry with what you have said.

    When dealing with a parent:

    • Try and keep it sort and simple.
    • The longer the player has been with the team the more effort you should make.
    • Listen to what they have to say and don’t interrupt.
    • Be specific and gage the tone of the conversation.
    • If it starts to get heated it’s best to try and finish the conversation on a positive.
    • If that player lacks the qualities you are looking then be specific to those things.

    In certain situation it may be that you have to0 many players, in this case communicate to the parents the obvious argument that you have to limit the size of the team because there just aren’t enough resources, equipment, playing time and possibly coaches available to keep everyone on the squad who tries out. 

    “Failing is something that happens to us on the road to success. Failing does not define whether we are good enough or not. Failure is great feedback and we can’t learn, grow or get better at anything without enough of this kind of feedback in ours lives” TCD

    Questions the player can ask the coach, after being cut: 

    • Last season I was playing every game, whats changed?
    • What specifically do you think I need to work on to make me a better player?
    • What do you think are my weaknesses?
    • What suggestions would you have on how I can directly work on strengthening those weaknesses?
    • What skills and strengths did the players chosen have that you think I lack and need work on?
    • Any other advice you could give me to help me get better?

    What should you do when your child gets cut and how to deal with their devastation:

    Listen Carefully:

    • Try to be empathetic and understanding,
    • Don’t interrupt them.
    • Try and see it from theirs eyes, they may not be able to use your words and advice at this time.
    • Don’t take their feelings away, allow them to feel sad.

    Don’t Assume everything they say is right: 

    • Of course you want to believe everything they say.
    • They’re emotional and sometimes what the coach said, may not be exactly what they are telling you.
    • Contact the coach and to try and understand the situation.
    • Gather as much info as possible.
    • Arrange a meeting.

    Don’t criticise your child: 

    • Focus on the positive of their game and be specific.
    • They need your support, understanding and love.
    • Remember your the parent now not the coach.

    Turn every situation into a learning experience: 

    • Set backs can form the foundation for future successes in life.
    • This is an opportunity to focus on the suggestions given by the coach.
    • This information is vital for your child to develop,

    This does not mean they have failed: 

    • When we fail it’s natural to see ourselves as a failure.
    • Failing is how we learn, it’s part of the process.
    • It doesn’t define us as a person, learning from those mistakes might.
    • To be a success in life our job is to learn how to effectively deal with being cut.

    Don’t let them give up: 

    • Failings are nothing more than speed bumps on the road along their journey in life.
    • When they hit one, fall, they simply keep going.
    • Encourage them not to give up and keep working hard on getting better.
    • This is only one persons opinion.
    • These messages may not be what you child needs to hear straight away. It may be later that night, the next day or even later in the week.

    Share your own set-backs: 

    • Be calm when you talk to them about their situation.
    • Kids learn sometimes better with how we say things.
    • When the time is right, share some of your heartbreaking setbacks and how you overcame them.
    • Talk to them about your failures.

    “Your failures do NOT reflect your potential”

    Conclusion

    The next time you cut players try and be a little more sensitive. Try to show respect and have the decency to let players know they are being let go for now. It’s takes courage to do it the right way and it’s not easy.

    • If you can take the extra time to sit down individually with each and every one of the players.
    • You don’t need to justify your decision, that is entirely up to you, however it’s better you give some feedback for all concerned.
    • And make them understand what they need to work on to get better.
    • He may have been key for the team last season and all of sudden he’s getting released.
    • For kids who have been with the team for a long time, it’s the time to empathise with them and encourage them to use the disappointment to progress. A motivation to improve and to come back next year and try again.

    Kids develop at different rates through the various stages, so don’t be quick to write them off. 6 months is a long time in a child’s development. Always inspire them to keep going and never give up and make sure you invite them back next year. If you can take time out to go and watch them play.

    Check out  Rasmus Ankersen (www.rasmusankersen.com) video of travelling around the world to crack the secrets of the world’s best performance hotbeds. In this video he explains how you can improve your ability to spot undervalued talent.

    Reposted and updated August 2015 and January 2016

    -END

    I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

    I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

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  • Take The Pledge, 16 Elements in support of your child’s sport.

    Take The Pledge, 16 Elements in support of your child’s sport.

    Why not start the season and take the pledge to be more encouraging at your kids match. This way you commit to implementing a healthier and sustainable pathway to success, which falls on the shoulders of everyone involved with Kids Sports – especially Parents.

    TCD wants to insure that Kids Sport can be enjoyed in a safe and positive environment. Remember that football and all sport provide kids with the opportunity to develop, their Technical, Physical, Tactical (older) and social skills.

    Winning is not the number 1 reason they get involved.

    Parents are continually asked by clubs to get involved and be a supportive spectator, here is one way to can be just that.

    I here by pledge to provide positive support, praise and encouragement for my child participating in this game, by following the Parent Pledge.

    1. I will let my child play and have fun in a safe environment.
    2. I will let my child choose the sport(s) he/she wants to play.
    3. I will get my child to and from training/matches on time.
    4. I will remember that the game is for kids and not for adults.
    5. I will let the coaches take responsibility for instructing and teaching my child.
    6. I will refrain from making negative comments about my child’s coach in my child’s presence. I understand that everyone is trying their best and sometimes people make mistakes. By doing this I understand this will avoid planting negatives thoughts in my child’s head that can negatively influence his/her motivation and sports experience.
    7. I will focus on using sports to teach life lessons to my child and his teammates.
    8. I will teach my child what it is to be a ‘Winner’. A winner is someone who gives their best Effort, always want to Learn and does not let Mistakes, or fear of making mistakes stop them from improving.
    9. I will provide positive encouragement to my child and his or her teammates and will never ridicule or yell at my child for losing a game or competition.
    10. I will limit my comments during the game. The game can be a very chaotic experience for my child, especially trying to deal with the fast-paced action and having to listen to teammates directions, as well as blank out, all the sideline noise and focus on things the coaching staff are saying. I will not at to the confusion.
    11. I will set an example to always respect the game and encourage my child to remember the ROOTS (Respect for the Rules, Opponents, Officials, Teammates & Self). I will never engage in, or tolerate, offensive, insulting, or abusive language or behaviour towards any official, coach, player or spectator.
    12. I will be in control of my self and my emotions on the sideline and pledge to stay quiet if I have nothing positive to say.
    13. I will ensure the trip back home in the car is a positive one.
    14. I will always say things like, ‘I love watching you play’ and ‘Did you have fun?’ and “Did you do your best?’ to my child after their game.
    15. I will always make sure my child has fun. I understand that the top 3 reasons kids play sport are to 1. Have fun 2. Make New Friends. 3. Learn new skills and that far less than 1% of all participants ever make it to the professional level of the game.
    16. I will not live my dreams through my child.

    Yes, I commit to making my child’s sport experience a Healthy and Enjoyable one!

    DOWNLOAD The Parent Pledge, sign it and hand the top half to your child’s coach. Have a great season supporting your child’s team!

    Next post is the ‘Player’s Pledge’ 

    -End

    I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

    I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

     

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  • What to say….On Game day!

    What to say….On Game day!

    Many parents spend large amounts of times in the car with their kids. In fact in some cases this may be the only time we get to have a 1 to 1 with them. My advice is keep your eyes firmly on the road and whatever comes from your mouth make sure it’s positive and reassuring. Thousands of kids arrive at their game feeling anxious and worried about losing or making mistakes.

    The last thing you want is for your child to feel this way because of you. I have put together a list of, Do’s and Don’ts on game day:

    DO: 

    • Be calm and supportive.
    • Choose the right words.
    • Always ask if they are excited about playing.
    • When complementing, be specific about what they did and don’t be vague.
    • Leave the coaching to the coaches.
    • Take their focus away from performance and winning.
    • Ask if they have played the team before and if they know any of the opposition.
    • Try and make your child arrive at the game relaxed.
    • Be calm and make light of things.
    • Try and have a laugh on the way.
    • Talk about your time playing team sports.
    • Take note of your child’s mood before a game. Do they like to talk about the game, to be more relaxed or would they rather talk about something else?
    • Try not to talk about the game if your travelling long distances. It’s best not to discuss the game at least 2/3 hrs before hand.
    • Focus on effort and getting them to do their best. Things they can control.
    • Say, ‘Try to have fun’ and ‘Play with s smile’
    • Ask how your child how you can make them feel relaxed before a game. Some children prefer not to talk and maybe, just listen to music on the way.
    • Focus on the here and now.
    • Do teach kids to support one another regardless of what happens.

     “Remember when saying something, the words you use are just as important” 

    Don’t

    • Don’t make them anxious the day of the game.
    • Try not to focus on things they can’t control, such as winning; scoring a goal of keeping a clean sheet. These are things they can’t control. If they don’t deliver on your comments they might feel you will think less of them.
    • Talk about winning or losing.
    • Interfere with what the coaches instructions. There might be a reason why they asked them to do a particular thing.
    • Refer to previous games against the opposition.
    • Speak about how good or bad the team (opposition) is.
    • Compare them to others players. Children develop at different stages and the last thing your child needs is to get the impression you think another child is better than them.
    • Talk bad about individuals on the team. Sports is about team cohesion and negative comments from a parent can break that connection. Children can forgive each other very quickly but they will always remember how an adult made them feel. 
    • Be aggressive on the line, shouting or raising your voice. Children will mirror what they see from adults and this can have a negative impact on your relationship later in life. .
    Children don’t value winning as much as adults do and sometimes parents get caught up in thinking about their child, firstly as a player and secondly as a son or a daughter. If your child teams losses don’t make that feeling any worse by going over the game with a post-game chat. Most of the times, the words ‘I love to watch you play’ are what’s all they need to hear, regardless of the result.
    “We look at wins and losses, and fail to search for happy faces, and proper developmental environments”
    If you want your child to relax, then you must relax too. If you want your child to play with a positive mental attitude, then you must have a positive mental attitude.  If you want your child to bring the right attitude and mindset to the game, then you must bring the same mindset.

    Smiling, joking and having fun will always help you child to relax.

    The next time you attend a game, be relaxed, calm, supportive and positive. This will rub off on your son and/or daughter and the people around you!

    Summary

    *Give your child (player) freedom to make mistakes and try new things, allow them to discover on their own.

    *You can work together on certain things, since real effort is one of the most effective ways to increase self-esteem.

    *The best thing is to offer sincere, specific praise rather than making vague generalisations.

    *Sometimes, a wink, pat on the back, thumbs up or even just quick squeeze conveys a lot more than words or simply say the words, ‘I Love Watching You Play’.

    *The most important thing to remember is the game belongs to them; so let them take control of their experience and don’t keep offering an opinion.

    *The sooner you release your child to his/her game, the quicker they take responsibility of it.  Sometimes silence is the greatest help of all.

    *If you’re not having fun you can be 100% sure your child/players are not either.

    “The Ride Home After the Game: It has always amazed me how a moment off the field can have such a detrimental effect on it, yet when we think about it, the toxicity of the ride home makes perfect sense. Emotions are high, disappointment, frustration, and exhaustion are heightened for both player and parent, yet many parents choose this moment to confront their child about a play, criticize them for having a poor game, and chastise their child, their teammates, their coach, and their opponents. There could not be a less teachable moment in your child’s sporting life then the ride home, yet it is often the moment that well intentioned parents decide to do all of their teaching” – Changing The Game Project

    -End

    Recommended this week to read: 5 Messages Your Kids Need To Hear also don’t forget, ‘Changing The Game Project’ talk on Friday the 29th August. ****Buy a ticket today and bring a friend for FREE****

     

    I always like to hear your opinions. Please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. Thanks for reading. I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

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  • Changing The Game Project – 29th August 2014

    Changing The Game Project – 29th August 2014

    On Friday the 29th August, just a day before 11 aside football kicks off in Ireland. John O’Sullivan from Changing The Game Project will be in Dublin to talk to coaches, parents and club administrators about his project. The talk will focus on a Guide to Raising Happy, High Performing Athletes, and Giving Youth Sports Back to our Kids. It is open to parents and coaches involved with youth sports (all codes).

    John O’Sullivan is the author of the bestselling book Changing the Game: The Parent’s Guide to Raising Happy, High-Performing Athletes and Giving Youth Sports Back to Our Kids.  His writing has been featured in the Huffington Post, Soccer America, and The Soccer Wire. John is also a known speaker and coaching educator, working with schools and youth sports organisations, as well as speaking at TEDx Bend in 2014. He teaches parents and coaches how to create a player-centered youth sports environment, be better leader for our children, and create model youth sports organisations that put our players first.

    John spent nearly three decades as a soccer player and coach at the youth, college and professional level, most recently as the Central Oregon Regional Training Center Director for the Portland Timbers of Major League Soccer. He holds a USSF A License, USYS National Youth License, and NSCAA Advanced National Diploma. He is a 1994 graduate of Fordham University and received his Masters degree from the University of Vermont in 2003. He currently resides in Bend, Oregon where the majority of his coaching duties consist of working with his 8 year old daughter Maggie and 7 year old son Tiernan.

    Talk Details:

    • When: Friday 29th August @7pm
    • Where: Carlton Hotel, Old Airport Road, Cloghran Co. Dublin
    • Cost: Early Bird (Includes Book) €22.50. *For group rates see below
    • General Admission €25

    *For Group Bookings (discounts) email info@thecoachdiary.com or call 087 2183837

    Supported by FINGAL SPORTS OFFICE

    John remembers when youth sports was about children competing with other children instead of adults competing with each other through their kids. Listen to John’s powerful talk on TEDx Talks.

    To find out more about John’s Project come along on the 29th August and be the change.

    BOOK NOW

    Download PDF Information Here > Changing the Game Project- 29th August 2014

    I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

    I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

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  • New Campaign – Are you ready?

    New Campaign – Are you ready?

    With only a month to go before a another season starts, I’m sure you have already experienced the joys of new players arriving and the disappointment of ones leaving. For those at the top level of kids football this time of year can be a very stressful one. Already I have heard of some great coaches who have left the game over the madness that sometimes consume this recreational sport.

    They must want to play!

    For any parents reading this who may be thinking of putting your child into the game. My advice would be, only put your child into sport if it’s something they want. This way they will have a great experience playing sport but they must want to be there. I see so many young kids forced into sport when most would rather be out the back playing or swinging out of the monkey bars. Unless your child has asked, – keep them away from organised sport until they are at least age 7 or begging to go. If you really want to get them moving bring them down to the park, bring them swimming, cycling or even join a gymnastics club but before you bring them, ask them which sport they want to play?

    We know the number one reason kids play sports is to have fun but the number 1 reason they leave is because they’re not having fun. 

    Be open, be honest. 

    It does frustrates me when I hear so many kids moving from club to club, being promised this and that or just chasing the dream. Out of respect the player should always go to his/her current coach and let him/her know that they would like to try-out with other teams. By communicating this message, the current coach might be able to guide him/her. If you are already playing football with a team in the top division for instance; why move to one of the other top teams. If you’re doing your best and enjoying the coaching, why move? One thing players can control is their effort, how hard they try. Getting better is within their control. Regardless if the player likes the coach, or he/she think he’s not improving them. The player can still work with 100% concentration, you can still execute everything in the best possible way.

    The grass is always greener where you water it. So, instead of running around different clubs for no apparent reason, stay at your current one and work even harder. In order to improve on last years season you must be prepared to go to a level you haven’t been before. The only way to do that is to work even harder. If a player isn’t getting into a team, he/she can still be working hard for their chance and when they get that chance be ready to take it! Moving to a new team is not easy; there are many valid reasons not to move.

    #WorkHardAndThenWorkEvenHarder

    What To Look Out For

    You might be taking you child to a sports club for the first time or maybe he/she has asked to move teams or maybe you have decided they need to move to get improve and be challenged. What ever the reason here are a few tips to make sure you do the right thing for your child. The decision you make for your child or in fact the child makes for himself, must have the child best interest at heart.

    Your child may be one of the best player at his current team and enjoys having that label – moving to a another team, he/she may not be the number one player or have as much responsibility as before. He/she may find it hard not to be the center of attention anymore and they must be prepared for this change.

    The Player

    • Most elite teams have 2-3 players who stand out more then the rest, your child may have been one of these players at his last club and now finds himself down the pecking order. This sometimes can be hard to deal with and can hugely affect the child’s confidence.
    • He/she may have to work there way into the starting line up, again this may not have been the case previously. This could have an affect on his/her confidence or desire to play.
    • A whole set of new players and coaches to become familiar with and sometimes at the younger ages this can be difficult to adapt too.
    • Players develop at different stages, if you’re child or player is not developing as quick as you like, don’t force the process. I’ve seen so many kids go through patches of being excellent for 6 months and then they become unrecognisable only to be back to their best the next month.
    • Be patient with the players don’t expect them to think and learn like adults, when they are kids.
    • A child born at the start of the year cannot be compared to a child born at the end of the same year. In this case we must be patient with the younger ones.

    Take a look at these interesting Stats:

    On average 50 kids go to England every year;
    18 sign contracts;
    94% who are good enough to get deals with an English club, don’t get as far as a second contract;
    75% come home and never play at League of Ireland level;
    Liverpool Academy stated: 98% of players who are taken in by the English academy fall out by the time they are 18;
    Only 0.021% of u21’s players currently playing in the Barclays u12 league will make it to the premier league.

    That’s how hard it is to make as a professional footballer, it’s unlikely your child will ever reach that level. Year on year less and less Irish kids make it the English game. Let’s look at some of the things you need to be aware of:

    The Coach

    • The coaching will most likely be different and may not be as enjoyable as before or may be even more enjoyable. One way to find out is call the coach and ask him when the next training session is, you can go down and watch how this coach is with the kids.
    • Watching one session may not give you a  full picture but it will give you an idea of how the training sessions are organised.
    • Try and have chat with some parents and see what their opinion of the club/coach etc is.
    • You are putting your child in the hands of these people, you have a right to know.
    • Are the training session planned, are they organised, fun, age and skill level appropriate. Don’t expect professional level but some sort of structure should be in place.
    • Check to see what the managers plans are? Is he a win at all costs type manager or does he develop the kids properly and try to play football, allowing them to take risks and be expressive.
    • A Child centre approach is ideal. Make sure he is not just picking the bigger stronger guys over the smaller more ones.
    • Children learn by playing not watching.
    • We are in the development zone. We’re encouraging kids to get on the ball and mistakes, this is how they learn.
    • Check to see what the managers plans are? Is he a win at all costs type manager or does he develop the kids properly thus allowing them to take risks and be expressive.
    • Check to see if the training times suit, you don’t want to be missing work in order to get to training on time.
    • When you sign up to a team the commitment works both ways. Now kids can’t drive themselves to training and games, so the parent has to buy into the commitment also. It’s important that the training times don’t conflict with the family life. Lots of kids play a variety of sports and at certain levels this may not be something the coach is happy with. Work these scheduling conflicts out ahead of time so your child isn’t left paying the price (less playing time, missing a big game).
    • Take the promises with a pinch of salt.
    • If he/she can promise the kids will learn, it’s safe and will improve whilst having fun. That is more than enough for now!

    “We look at wins and losses, and fail to search for happy faces, and proper developmental environments”

    Signing Up

    • Don’t sign straight way, make sure your child is happy before you sign the dotted line (even if you do sign, most clubs will refund you if you change your mind before the season kicks off). This is possible once the paper work is completed in time.
    • Ask about the ratio of kids to coaches. Eight to ten kids per coach would be ideal. You definitely wouldn’t want it to be higher than 14 kids per coach. It’s virtually impossible to coach a team on your own for a long period of time.
    • Make sure he/she is really wanted and its not just a ploy to get his/her best friend to the club and using you as a screen.
    • They must want to move and not be forced or pressurised in any way. Change is good but it must be his/her decision.
    • If its the case that they have been asked to move from the B team to the A Team again consider all of the above. Children always want to better themselves and sometimes we just need to let them go.
    • By realising the game to them, they take control of it and embrace the process. They also find it easier to make decisions for their benefit.

    Volunteer coaches should have access to training that educates them on child abuse prevention (Welfare course are now available and mandatory), the psychology of coaching in youth sports, working with parents, fitness, nutrition/hydration and safety/first aid, as well as some sport specific training. All this stuff is much more important than teaching the technical and tactical aspects of the game. I would define a great coach on being a great leader and one who’s aim is to improve each and every player both technically and mentally.

    The Club

    • Most top clubs now-a-days have good facilities and structures and require that coaches be trained and Garda vetted but no harm in asking and checking to see where they will be training etc.
    • Does the club have a child welfare officer and what’s the playing policy.
    • Be as honest as possible with your current club, good coaches want to see their players progress even if it means moving to a better level of football. A coach/club should always leave the door open for any player who wants to see if they can move up a level or try a new club.
    • If players feels they are always welcome back, then it makes things easier for everyone concerned.
    • If you aren’t satisfied, take a look at the what neighbouring teams do. It may be worth a little extra drive time to get your kids in a better set-up.

    Respect

    • You must remember to be respectful to your current club and communicating will always make things better. People like to speculate, so best to get in there early and let the manager know. After all, he has been giving up his own time to help you.

    “Children who are given control over their sport experience are more likely to enjoy the game more and stay playing for longer. They’re also found to embrace the process more rather than focus on the result.  It can also allow them to focus longer on improving and develop an interest outside of training, where they will take upon themselves to work harder and get better (More success). This way children learn to value it because the game belongs to them not you”

    Check Back

    • Ask you child how he/she feels about the situation and then ask the question again after a few weeks with his new club.
    • The number one priority is to make sure your child is happy and enjoying his/her football every week.

    “As adults we expect far too much from children at a very young age”

    Winning and Playing

    1. Children don’t value winning as much as adults do. Get them involved, allow them to take control, be supportive and back off.
    2. They love competing but they value playing more than the result.
    3. Sport is a wonderful avenue to help your children learn valuable life long lessons. Do your part to insure that these lessons they are learning are constructive, positive and most importantly FUN!
    4. Children do not play to win, they like to win, they enjoy competing more, but they do not play to win.
    5. They play to have fun, to be with their friends, to feel good about themselves and for pure enjoyment.

    Don’t always pick and choose our kids’ sports team/club because it is the winning one; has the winning coach; the defending champions; and then assume that because of all the wins everything else just happens. Your child will still need to adapt and settling in can be the biggest issue of all. According to Dan Gould at the Michigan State University Institute for the Study of Youth Sports:

    • Kids want to have fun;
    • To get better, and to be with their friends;
    • They want parental support and encouragement; 
    • They want you to watch them play and praise them for their effort; 
    • They want you to be realistic about their ability; 
    • And they want you to be present, and interested in what they are doing. 

    The Parent

    Children do not want you to shout at them, shout at the coach, the officials or the opposition.  They don’t want you to put too much pressure on them, or be overly critical.  They want the game to be theirs and all they want from you is to enjoy watching them play. So, If you find yourself saying “we scored 3 goals today” or “lost by two points” chances are you have not released your child to his/her game and you are still very much in control of it.

    Time to back off and let the game belong to them. Your role is to encourage and praise or best of all just observe and let your child have their own sports experience. It’s about the kids, so let them get instruction from the coach and refrain from giving your opinion about how they played, unless of course it’s going to be positive.

    There are so many uncertainties in the world, as parents we have to do our best to keep our children safe and sports is no different. Knowing that a child is being coached by someone that received training in first aid, has done a child welfare course, coaches in a safe environment, can bring great peace of mind to a parent. Once you have a sense that your child is in safe hands, allow them to grow into their sporting experience. This is the best thing you can do for your child.

    I know all parents are interested in giving their child the best sports experience, no parent or coach ever goes out with the intention to ruin it but as we know so many do.

    Anyway, I hope this post helps parents, coaches and players make the best decision for the benefit of the child!

    Enjoy the experience and make it a positive one!!

    -End

    One for your Diary:

    ****Changing the Game!****

    The Parent’s Guide to Raising Happy, High Performing Athletes, and Giving Youth Sports Back to our Kids

    A really great talk is talking place on Friday 29th August at the Carlton Hotel, Dublin Airport.

    This 90 minute talk is for parents and coaches who’s children are involved with Youth Sport. 
    Early Bird: €22.50 (first 60pax to book will get a copy of John’s book) 

    Bio:
    John O’Sullivan is the author of the bestselling book Changing the Game: The Parent’s Guide to Raising Happy, High-Performing Athletes and Giving Youth Sports Back to Our Kids.

    He is the Founder of the Changing the Game Project, and his writing has been featured in the Huffington Post, Soccer America, and The Soccer Wire. John is also a nationally known speaker and coaching educator, working with schools and youth sports organizations, as well as speaking at TEDx Bend in 2014. He teaches parents and coaches how to create a player-centered youth sports environment, be better leader for our children, and create model youth sports organizations that put our players first.

    John spent nearly three decades as a soccer player and coach at the youth, college and professional level, most recently as the Central Oregon Regional Training Center Director for the Portland Timbers of Major League Soccer. He holds a USSF A License, USYS National Youth License, and NSCAA Advanced National Diploma. He is a 1994 graduate of Fordham University and received his Masters degree from the University of Vermont in 2003. He currently resides in Bend, Oregon where the majority of his coaching duties consist of working with his 8 year old daughter Maggie and 7 year old son Tiernan.

    BOOK NOW

    I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

    I’m also on twitter  @Coachdiary

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  • Project Fun Direction

    Project Fun Direction

    Ciaran Duffy a Coach with a dream to get more girls participating in sport in Dublin’s Inner City.

    Their Mission: In Ireland, for lots of identifiable reasons, many young girls don’t get the opportunity to experience and participate in sport in their own community, where we can set them on the road of a lifetime of sports participation and all the benefits that offers. We aim to provide girls aged 5-8 with a gateway into numerous sports where we can equip them for a more fulfilling engagement with sport growing up. They will learn about healthy nutrition while developing confidence, social skills and learning to win and lose with dignity.

    What’s the reason behind this? 

    For a number of years now, it has become obvious to me that Irish society doesn’t offer young girls from disadvantaged areas the same opportunities in sport that boys get or girls from more advantaged areas. I’m a big believer in what sport can do for child development regardless of ability and believe all kids should get those opportunities regardless of means, address or gender. I have also seen what good FUNdamental coaching can do for kids of this age in terms of making them physically literate so that they get more fulfilment from any sport when they start going into a team setting at age 9-11. I’m also a big believer in kids trying and taking part in as many sports as possible. For many obvious reasons such as family structure, lack of transport, limited facilities etc, it’s my view that girls from disadvantaged areas such as the north inner city don’t get exposed to age-appropriate coaching in their own community.

    What does Project Fun Direction offer? 

    I have established Project Fun Direction which initially involves 2 multi-sport camps for girls aged 5-8. We have 5 days in St Mary’s Youth Club East Wall starting next Monday July 28th and then 9 days in O’Connells School, North Circular Road starting Tuesday August 5th. The girls will experience 3 sports per day rotating around Football, Camogie, Cricket, Athletics, Martial Arts and Rugby. I have also arranged to supply a healthy lunch and the UCD Institute of Nutrition are coming in to do a fun session with the girls on nutrition and healthy eating.

    How long will the project run for? 

    I will run a once-weekly multi-sport activity in these locations throughout the year when the camp finishes. Ultimately, how many we get coming back over the next 6 months will determine the success or otherwise of this pilot but my plan would be to roll it out in other areas if successful. Dublin City Council have come on board with coaches in a number of sports and I have sourced the Camogie coaching through a personal contact while I will do the football myself.

    Have many girls signed up for the camp so far? 

    I have almost 40 girls signed up for both camps and expect to be close to capacity of 50 in each. 90% have not played sport outside of school and all seem interested in coming back on a weekly basis although this will depend on how much fun they have next week I suspect ! The girls are paying €10 per week for the camp as I have raised funding privately to conduct this as a pliot and received other support from the likes of Dublin City Council and the venues

    To find out more about Project Fun Direction go to Project Fun Direction page on Facebook or their Twitter page @projfundir. 

    -End

    I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

    I’m also on twitter @Coachdiary

     

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  • Player Welfare (Concussion)

    Player Welfare (Concussion)

    Now that the World Cup has some to an end FIFA needs to look at the safety of players before 2018. First on the list: an adequate, medically-informed assessment of its procedures concerning head injuries, and not just those of Christoph Kramer and Álvaro Pereira. This is called accountability. It is a basic human concern, and FIFA, once again in the spotlight, is silent on a issue that is staring them right in the face.

    This year I attended the Acquired Brain Injury seminar and I was astonished to hear from children who had suffered  from contact to the head in sport. Bottom line: players should not have the authority to decide for themselves whether or not it is alright for them to play after sustaining a blow to the head.

    Below is some vital information that could help you save someones life. It’s just not worth taking the risk. 

    Concussion Signs and Symptoms

    Signs Observed By Coaching Staff: 

    • Appear dazed or stunned
    • Is confused about position
    • Forgets an instruction
    • unsure of game details
    • Moves clumsily
    • Answers questions slowly
    • Loses consciousness (even briefly)
    • Show mood/behaviour /Personality Change
    • Forget Events ‘Prior’ to hit or fall
    • Forgets Events ‘After’ hit or fall

    “I believe I have sustained over twenty concussions over the past three years but to drop out would have been a sign of weakness.” – BERNARD JACKMAN 

    Symptoms Reported By Player: 

    • Headache or Pressure
    • Nausea
    • Balance or Dizziness
    • Double or Blurry Vision
    • Sensitivity to Light/Noise
    • Feeling Sluggish/Hazy/Groggy
    • Concentration/Memory Problems
    • Confusion
    • Does not ‘Feel right’ or ‘Feeling Down’

    REST=RECOVERY

    After an initial concussion the individual should subscribe to complete and utter rest.

    • No Texting
    • No TV/Radio
    • No Computers
    • No Bright Lights
    • No Reading
    • No Physical Exercise
    • No Alcohol
    • No Driving
    • No Exertion of any kind

    If a player sleeps after a Concussion, wake them every few hours during the night, or while resting to check their communication.

    On the Field Treatment

    Orientation – Ask the player the following questions:

    • What Pitch/arena is this?
    • What half/quarter are we in?
    • What city/town is this?
    • What team are we playing?
    • What day is it?

    Memory ‘After’ hit – Ask the player to repeat the following:

    • Girl, Dog, Green

    Memory ‘Before’ hit – Ask the player to repeat the following:

    • Do you remember the hit?
    • What happened in this half before the hit?
    • What was the score of the game before the hit?

    Concentration – Ask the player to repeat the following:

    • Repeat the days of the week backwards (starting today)
    • Repeat these numbers backwards: 63 (36is correct) 419 (914 is correct)

    Word list memory – Ask the player to repeat these three words from earlier: Girl, Dog Green

    Conclude

    Concussion is a brain injury and players should not return to play until symptom-free and all the test are carried out. Risk of re-injury is high; leading to recurrent concussion; causing long term damage. Should symptoms persist SEEK MEDICAL ADVICE. Don’t take the risk. The game is not worth it!

    For more information on concussions go to CONCUSSION.IE 

    -End

    I always like to hear your opinions and views. If you feel you have something to say, please comment below or email me info@thecoachdiary.com If, you don’t have anything to add then please forward this on to a friend. As always, thanks for reading.

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